Vipul's heartfelt message.
- Vipul wrote this heartfelt message that I wanted to share. Do respond to him - Love, Rohini -
Hello Rohini,
I received this mail and I wanted to write something in reply. When I would be driving then I would know what to write but when I would sit down to write no words would come in my head. But I still want to write so I can empty the burden on my soul.
When I say I walked through that door and felt a different life I was not lying about that.
Metaphorically speaking yes its true but if I analyze it in reality I guess being with a set of people who are practically unaware of my stinking dark secrets and the situation I come from, my fears and my anger my frustration etc etc makes all the difference.
There at your place I "get to be" and I " get to be with" the kind of people with whom I feel I can connect intellectually and if I have the luxury of more time then I would love to chat with each and every one of them.
New faces of all age groups and a different environment and different intellect, fresh outlook from the old tried and trusted patterns, people who feel together and share their feelings with strangers "opps no more strangers" people who follow their heart and want to make that difference may be 18 or 80 but still.
No stupid conversation of the last night "SAAS BAHU" serial and no Saas or Bahu at your house! Just individuals.
Rohini maam last Sunday's meeting gave me a feeling that I want to LIVE I really want to live. For this first time I want to be selfish. For this first time I want to have someone in my life who is not constantly judging me. I am 30 yrs old and feel every day that by the time I can think of my life coming on the OK track will cost me another 2 years, and this scares me that the golden years of my life are passing by and iam still looking in every pretty face around me trying to find someone with whom I can grow old with. For whom I can make that special surprise breakfast in the morning and take care of her for the rest of my life. I know I sound like a collage boy and maybe iam committing a crime even thinking all this given the situation iam in, but my conscious is clear and iam not guilty and my heart and mind knows that. It's unfortunate that I never found anybody who can "BE" with me and relate rather judge me. You know maam if ever you get to know that what iam into maybe you call up jeeten and ask him to keep me away from the Meetings.
Constant failures in relations have broken me and I feel that maybe iam not meant for them but then why do I look for them if it's not meant to be.
Maam when I was in collage I made a priority list and one of the points was to give a live interview on a business channel before the age of 30.
I have given 3 interviews till now on all the major channels and another one on 15th august but whom do I share this with.
There is no point in a success if you cannot share it with that one person.
You must have heard this cry millions of times and it might sound like just another one.
But maam I now want to live not survive or exit. I want to get rid of the negative souls who have capture and ruptured my existence my heart & my soul.
I don't know that reiki can help me or not but I know that while iam writing this to you iam already positive and feeling good and I can see a ray of hope and a gush of that unseen energy in me.
I don't know that it's a divine light or it's my inner self but I know that the entire idea of meeting so many people at your haven gives me a feeling that iam increasing my circle and how much love, affection and caring is there around me. It surprises me that I don't even know the names of these people and still I connect with them at some level. I recollect their faces and would love to have each and every one of them as my friends.
With this I pray for every one's happiness and may god brings us all the deserved joy and fulfillment in our lives.
"Total love and general joy"
Until we meet again
ADIOS,
Vipul
Hello Rohini,
I received this mail and I wanted to write something in reply. When I would be driving then I would know what to write but when I would sit down to write no words would come in my head. But I still want to write so I can empty the burden on my soul.
When I say I walked through that door and felt a different life I was not lying about that.
Metaphorically speaking yes its true but if I analyze it in reality I guess being with a set of people who are practically unaware of my stinking dark secrets and the situation I come from, my fears and my anger my frustration etc etc makes all the difference.
There at your place I "get to be" and I " get to be with" the kind of people with whom I feel I can connect intellectually and if I have the luxury of more time then I would love to chat with each and every one of them.
New faces of all age groups and a different environment and different intellect, fresh outlook from the old tried and trusted patterns, people who feel together and share their feelings with strangers "opps no more strangers" people who follow their heart and want to make that difference may be 18 or 80 but still.
No stupid conversation of the last night "SAAS BAHU" serial and no Saas or Bahu at your house! Just individuals.
Rohini maam last Sunday's meeting gave me a feeling that I want to LIVE I really want to live. For this first time I want to be selfish. For this first time I want to have someone in my life who is not constantly judging me. I am 30 yrs old and feel every day that by the time I can think of my life coming on the OK track will cost me another 2 years, and this scares me that the golden years of my life are passing by and iam still looking in every pretty face around me trying to find someone with whom I can grow old with. For whom I can make that special surprise breakfast in the morning and take care of her for the rest of my life. I know I sound like a collage boy and maybe iam committing a crime even thinking all this given the situation iam in, but my conscious is clear and iam not guilty and my heart and mind knows that. It's unfortunate that I never found anybody who can "BE" with me and relate rather judge me. You know maam if ever you get to know that what iam into maybe you call up jeeten and ask him to keep me away from the Meetings.
Constant failures in relations have broken me and I feel that maybe iam not meant for them but then why do I look for them if it's not meant to be.
Maam when I was in collage I made a priority list and one of the points was to give a live interview on a business channel before the age of 30.
I have given 3 interviews till now on all the major channels and another one on 15th august but whom do I share this with.
There is no point in a success if you cannot share it with that one person.
You must have heard this cry millions of times and it might sound like just another one.
But maam I now want to live not survive or exit. I want to get rid of the negative souls who have capture and ruptured my existence my heart & my soul.
I don't know that reiki can help me or not but I know that while iam writing this to you iam already positive and feeling good and I can see a ray of hope and a gush of that unseen energy in me.
I don't know that it's a divine light or it's my inner self but I know that the entire idea of meeting so many people at your haven gives me a feeling that iam increasing my circle and how much love, affection and caring is there around me. It surprises me that I don't even know the names of these people and still I connect with them at some level. I recollect their faces and would love to have each and every one of them as my friends.
With this I pray for every one's happiness and may god brings us all the deserved joy and fulfillment in our lives.
"Total love and general joy"
Until we meet again
ADIOS,
Vipul
posted by LovingSpace | 5:46 AM
8 Comments:
Vipul,
Hi. I think you are among the bravest people I know and it is wonderful to listen to you speak at the follow-up meetings. Do let us know more about your work and your passions.
Cheers!
Dear Vipul,
I came on this blog space with the pre-assigned role of a listener. Except that your message was compelling enough not to leave it at that.
Just wanted to tell you that though I haven't had similar experiences..I relate to every word of yours..that I want to cheer you like the film audience does,as the hero delivers a dialogue that touches the core of their lives..that your message gives a lot of hope and courage to 1s as me..that I really want to know on what channel is your interview appearing on 15th August :)
All the best.Look forward to more from your end.
A
hey vipul,
i must say it takes lot of courage to speak your heart...u have that courage....i am sure u'll do fine....:)
All the best!!!
Dear Vipul,
thr was a very beautiful shift in you from when u came for first time for the follow up, to when you came for the second.
we are so happy to have you in our family.
thanks for your honest sharing and more importantly for "walking through that door"
best wishes for your interview
wishing you lots of lv and happiness in life
lv
(Comment from Mayank)
Dear Vipul,
Thanks a lot for writing in and sharing your feelings with all of us. Although I missed the magical session last sunday, I heard all about it from Rohini aunty, and in some way connected. Its funny, you talk of love, of having someone to love and the search for such a love. while, I at my end wonder about the how's and why's of it. I write this with the backdrop of a fantastic film I saw a while ago- Closer, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, and my parting ways with my boyfriend not so long ago. And as I do so I also look back on a short life where indeed I feel I have loved and so many times, and so many people. And as I move on from the last ( why we broke up? no reason. just a parting of ways, and as I try and avoid all feelings of guilt of having done so) I feel, for the first time in my life a sense of complete abandonment.
A cessation of those searches, for I suddenly realise that love is not just about having that partner in life, but the love of self, that romance is not just about candle-lit dinners with that other, but also in the misty walks in the rain ( which i take so often- good ol' Ahmedabad) all by yourself. I believe relationships come to our life for a reason, they reflect who we are, and bring out the best and worst in us. When those lessons in our lives cease, those people also fade. The journey throughout our lives, and more so, must remain of that soul deep within. That, is true love. And once we reach there, we come to a space that is beyond people, good/bad, this and that. it is a space beyond and above everything, and that is where, in our completion we find an other, who is also complete in his or her way. While boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, this person remains that constant in our lives.
Is there such a person? Who knows?
But if the journey, of that search, is to take us to new people, new experiences and places...if it is to help us know ourselves a little better than we do now, it is better not knowing for now. And in that not knowing, open ourselves to something new each minute, each hour, each day.
Keep well,
Mayank
this is in response to mayank's comment
Dear mayank
so beautiful expression and such a depth in your thoughts...am ur fan!!
looking fwd to hv more such thought sharing frm ur side
lots of lv
Vipul: What fun to work with the tribals and add value to their lives. I would love to come along one day and spend some time at the plantations if that is possible.
This is great.
Take care and see you soon.
Dear All,
I had posted a message anonymously earlier and just responded to vipul over email. Just figured however, that if the idea is larger sharing with the entire group than I much rather overcome my own inhibitions than squander away these thoughts. So here goes the mail:
Dear Vipul,
I am Ms "anoynomous who posted the comments on August 9" as you call me :)
I am not sure why I would post anoynmously on a community whose core is transparency. Perhaps fears, of public gaze and judgement still plague me, but hope at some point in future that will change.
I quite liked what you wrote in response to mayank. I wish someone could answer all that..I do feel that, "the process goes on but who sees us through this process is not our selves. But these relations". The expected response to that would perhaps be that we have to place OURSELVES as the central evaluation authority of our learning curve. Except in my own case I feel too weak to do that and till the time I muster up courage to do so, I would rather have that support from outside (lame as that may sound) else its rather painful.
Also what you say about love, about that yearning for one outside of us and dear to us in its sharing of experiences identical to ours - it reminded me of something that I had read in an academic paper a friend in US had sent me on the subject " The Poetics of Love: Paradox and Permutation". I can share it with you if you want, but there was a part in it that sounds so close to what you said in that comment:
"According to Aristophanes, Eros or love is the constant reminder of the archaic trauma of the separation of the self from the other. In Plato's Symposium, Aristophanes recounts that human beings were originally round, eight-limbed creatures, with two faces and two sets of genitals. But, Zeus, angered by these primeval humans, cut them into two halves to make what we now call human beings. Aristophanes views love as the consequence of this traumatic separation; love is the articulation of human desire to be with one's other half, to be whole once again. While the myth of Aristophanes might have been debunked by biological sciences, the mystery of the human search for the other—what Aristophanes called love—persists.
So while we are taught self-love, theories as these also exist that may explain why its only "natural" in our quest for the "other". Look at you though, articulating the same sentiments as greek philosphers. Not bad. :)
I hope the interview is still due to come.
Also I have attached a song along its lyrics that I am not sure why but just feel like sharing. Rohini will kill me for spreading such desolate stuff in "loving space" but I guess its worth the risk. :)
Tell me what you think.
Cheers
Amita
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